Do you know what you really need? All of us have basic human needs, not merely desires but profound needs that underlie and motivate every choice we make. There are six basic needs that everyone seeks to fulfill.
The first four needs - certainty, variety, love and significance - are essential for human survival. They are fundamental needs of the personality - everyone must feel that they have met them on some level, even if they have to lie to themselves to do so.
The last two needs, growth and contribution, are essential to human fulfillment. They are the needs of the spirit, and not everyone finds a way to satisfy them, although they are necessary for lasting fulfillment. Understanding the 6 basic human needs is crucial to resolving conflict and the basis to create and maintain healthy relationships.
When our needs for love, growth and contribution are satisfied, they tend to encompass all our other needs. When we focus on something beyond ourselves, most of our problems and sources of pain become less significant. Most healthy relationships contribute as a unit to something greater.
Contribution is the human need that effectively regulates your other five needs. If you are focused on contributing to others, you have the certainty of being able to contribute (there is always a way); you have variety (contribution is highly interactive); you have significance, because you know you are helping others and improving their lives; the spiritual bond created when you help others gives you a deep sense of connection; and by creatively helping others you grow.
Everyone experiences the same six basic human needs. However, everyone finds different ways of satisfying these needs.
Each of these needs can be met in ways that are positive or negative. Some ways of satisfying these needs are god for the person, good for others and good for society, and some are bad for everyone.
Do the work and become aware how these six needs guide our choices and actions. You then have the opportunity to let go of the negative ways of fulfilling them, that do not serve you, so you can create space to create and maintain healthy relationships.