Suicide is Not a Way Out!

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Posted by: Rose Tol, R&I Life Coaching, Suicide,, March 26, 2013 in Life Coaching

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Why is Suicide Never a Way Out?

Because it is not...very simple.

If you are taking your life and think you can escape the 'trouble, hardship, challenge' you are facing, you have to think again.

When a person takes their own life, they will have to deal with this challenge in the planes between birth and death.

And from what I am understanding, it is more difficult to deal with it there then over here. The reason is that you do not have a physical body to go through the emotions of it so you can heal. In this life time you do have your physical body to do it.

Facing your hardship and getting through it is easier then avoiding it. The immense suffering and the feeling of no way out, that most people feel when they have suicidal thoughts is because they are not facing their hardship head on. The feeling of suffering comes from avoiding the pain of the situation.

And I understand, most of the time the person with the thoughts of wanting to kill themselves just wants the pain to stop.

If you are willing to feel and face the pain of the situation with an intent to get through it...you will, and it is the fastest way out of the suffering. This is how you can make the pain to stop...Face it...not by committing suicide.

Common Variables Used to Assess Suicide Risk and Behavior.

If you see these behaviors in yourself or someone else...get help now!

These signs may mean someone is at risk. Risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss or change.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself.
• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or buying a gun.
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
• Talking about being a burden to others.
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
• Sleeping too little or too much.
• Withdrawn or feeling isolated.
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
• Displaying extreme mood swings.

Additional Warning Signs

• Preoccupation with death.
• Suddenly happier, calmer.
• Loss of interest in things one cares about.
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.
• Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions.

Statistics

• In America alone, every 14.2 minutes someone dies by suicide.
• It accounts for 1% of deaths in America.
• An estimated 11 attempts occur per every suicide death.
• The strongest risk factor is depression.
  
• In 2007, suicide was the seventh most common cause of death for males and the fifteenth most common cause of death for women.
• Nearly four times as many males die from suicide as females. Over half occur in adult men, ages 25-65.
• The age group with the highest suicide rate is those 65 and older, at 14.3 per 100,000 people. 
• American Indian and Alaska Natives have the highest suicide rates of any racial group, at 14.3  per 100,000 people.

Common Misconceptions

The following are common misconceptions about suicide:

"People who talk about killing themselves won't really do it."

Not True. Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Do not ignore these type of threats. Statements like "you'll be sorry when I'm dead," "I can't see any way out," -- no matter how casually or jokingly said, may indicate serious feelings of wanting to kill themselves going on.

"Anyone who tries to kill him/herself must be crazy."

Not True. Most suicidal people are not psychotic or insane. They may be upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing. Extreme distress and emotional pain are always signs of mental illness but are not signs of psychosis.

"If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop him/her."

Not True. Even the most severely depressed person has mixed feelings about death, and most waiver until the very last moment between wanting to live and wanting to end their pain. Most people with thoughts to kill themselves do not want to die; they want the pain to stop. The impulse to end it all, however overpowering, does not last forever.

"People who kill themselves are people who were unwilling to seek help."

Not True. Studies of adult suicide victims have shown that more then half had sought medical help within six month before their deaths and a majority had seen a medical professional within 1 month of their death.

"Talking about suicide may give someone the idea."

Not True. You don't give a suicidal person ideas by talking about it. The opposite is true -- bringing up the subject and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Know what to do

If You See the Warning Signs of Suicide...

Begin a dialogue by asking questions. Thoughts of killing yourself are common with some mental illnesses and your willingness to talk about it in a non-judgmental, non-confrontational way can be the help a person needs to seeking professional help. Questions okay to ask:

• "Do you ever feel so badly that you think about killing yourself?"
• "Do you have a plan to take your life?"
• "Have you thought about when you would do it (today, tomorrow, next week)?"
• "Have you thought about what method you would use?"

Asking these questions will help you to determine if your friend or family members is in immediate danger, and get help if needed. A person with thoughts of wanting to kill themselves should see a doctor or mental health professional immediately.

Calling 911 or going to a hospital emergency room are also good options to prevent a tragic attempt or death.

Calling the National Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is also a resource for you or the person you care about for help.

Remember, always take thoughts of or plans for suicide seriously.

Never keep a plan for suicide a secret. Don’t worry about risking a friendship if you truly feel a life is in danger. You have bigger things to worry about-someone’s life might be in danger! It is better to lose a relationship from violating a confidence than it is to go to a funeral. And most of the time they will come back and thank you for saving their life.

Don't try to minimize problems or shame a person into changing their mind. Your opinion of a person's situation is irrelevant. Trying to convince a person suffering with a mental illness that it's not that bad, or that they have everything to live for may only increase their feelings of guilt and hopelessness. Reassure them that help is available, that what they are experiencing is treatable, and that suicidal feelings are temporary. Life can get better!

If you feel the person isn't in immediate danger, acknowledge the pain is legitimate and offer to work together to get help. Make sure you follow through. This is one instance where you must be tenacious in your follow-up. Help find a doctor or a mental health professional, participate in making the first phone call, or go along to the first appointment. If you're in a position to help, don't assume that your persistence is unwanted or intrusive. Risking your feelings to help save a life is a risk worth taking.

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