Posted by: Rose Tol, R&I Life Coaching, March 26, 2013, Abuse and Violence in Relationships
Abuse and Violence in relationships can happen to anyone. Many people are in a abusive relationship but do not even know it. The problem is often denied, smoothed over or diminished. This is even more the case when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Seeing and recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse and violence, reach out. There is help available.
It's impossible to know for sure what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of abuse and violence in relationships. If you witness any warning signs of an abusive relationship in a friend, family member, or co-worker, take them very seriously.
General warning signs of domestic abuse
People who are in an abusive relationship may:
Warning signs of physical violence in an abusive relationship
People who are being physically abused may:
Warning signs of isolation
People who are being isolated by their abuser may:
People who are being abused may:
One of the areas re. abuse and violence in relationships that are often overlooked, denied or smoothed over is the area of emotional abuse. Just because you are not being physically hit or abused does not mean there is nothing wrong. An emotional abusive relationship can have devastating consequences on both physical and mental health. It can leave emotional scars that can run so deep. While emotional or psychological abuse may sometimes be difficult to pinpoint, it is happening rampantly.
Here are some warning signs and examples of emotional abuse:
Results of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, from the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness:
If you are wondering if you are dealing with abuse and violence in a relationship or you are suspecting it, CONTACT SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP!
Do not let shame, guilt or fear for further abuse stop you. You have to stop this cycle and you can with help by your side.
If you are in a relationship where abuse and violence has happened, make sure you prepare yourself for it possibly to happen again. It is important for you to plan for your and your family's safety ahead of time. Some of the things you can think about is:
If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.
Do's and Dont's re. abuse and violence in relationships
Do: Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions.
Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.
Adapted from: NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence
Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned and have recognized signs of possible abuse and violence. Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that you’ll help in any way you can.
Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs of abuse and violence and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive relationship and begin healing.
GET THE HELP YOU NEED AND DESERVE!
There are many abuse and violence hotlines in each City. Call them. They know how to handle the situation and can guide you to safety if needed.
AUSTRALIA: 1 800 RESPECT
You are NOT alone...
To read more on your options and how to get help please visit the following site on abuse and violence.
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