Posted by: Rose Tol, R&I Life Coaching, April 2, 2013 Boost Self Esteem in Life Coaching
How to boost self esteem when you feel so shitty about yourself? Unworthiness is a disease of the 21st Century. Many of the people that say they do not suffer from unworthiness might have more of it then anyone else. It is just covered over with a big personality or ego. So how do you become worthy when you feel you do not feel deserving and good about yourself? You have to go to the root of the problem to boost self esteem to avoid the trap of becoming a big ego.
The heart of the matter is that who you are is a beautiful gem. You were never broken, you were never bad. You are whole and complete being with unlimited potential. A radiant spark of love and light, ever expanding, ever growing as part of the Supreme Almighty - the Source - however you want to call this.
So the feeling of unworthiness is false, it is an illusion. The problem is that this feeling runs very deep in people. For example religion has been preaching it for a long time that we are a bad being, a sinner undeserving of God, and we have to grabble at God's feet to find forgiveness and be saved. This is just one example, but being a bad being has been put into us since the beginning of time.
In essence we are a beautiful gem that has been covered over by many lies and illusions: fear, blame, judgments, hatred, guilt, shame. And with it the concepts and beliefs that you hold true in your mind but have no base in reality.
Maybe the following words from Gourasana can help you feel the truth of this:
God sees who you are, and every one of you are a beautiful being, a very wonderful being, and a very powerful being.
It is only the darkness of illusion that makes you appear to be bad, but that darkness and that illusion is not you. It is the false ego. God never for an instant looses that distinction. God only looks at people as beautiful gems, no matter how horribly anyone behaves. No matter if they are the worst behaving person in the world God never ever sees them any other way than the way they truly are inside, under the ego––a being of pure light, a precious gem in this material world. But most people don’t feel like they are a beautiful gem to God because of the lies and illusions that are barriers to the truth. People mistakenly think that God would not love them because of the ugly ways that their illusory ego self behaves at times.
In order to boost self esteem you have to go to the root of the problem. You have to go to the roots of why you feeling bad about yourself. Why do you feel undeserving? What have you done that makes you a bad person? What thoughts make you feel bad about yourself? Why are you so unworthy.
You have to get to the root. FInd what concept or belief that you have about yourself is feeding, proving and keeping your unworthiness in place.
When you undertake such a journey, you have to be very open to what you will find. What the root concept of belief is might not be what you thought it would be, there openness is crucial.
The most direct way to boost self esteem is to dig out this root belief or concept and free yourself by letting it go.
This is a most powerful approach to boost self esteem. You become worthy by letting go of your ego. Why is this such a powerful approach to boosting self esteem?
If you 'work' on your low self esteem, your unworthiness, working meaning trying to see it and letting it go, it usually goes into the hiding or actually the feeling and the problems of unwortiness become greater. It is hard to work on something that has little energy in it, that is weak. The results are weak and positive affirmations will not cut it.
The truth of the matter is that our ego trades have opposites. Like the opposite of lack of self confidence is arrogance. It is way more powerful to 'work' the other side of the ego. The arrogance, the self-righteousness, the vanity, the overwhelm etc. etc. These parts of the ego have lots of energy in them and with awareness of the cost of these trades you can start to let them go and change your habits from selfish to serving ones.
And then the miracle starts to happen. As you are letting go of your ego, your feeling of being worthy starts to emerge and increase as you continue to let go of your ego. That's why we say: Become Worthy, by letting go of your ego. It is a more powerful approach and way to boost self esteem and avoiding the trap of becoming a self centered ego that walks around full of his/her self.