Having Marriage Issues? Take the relationship quiz
Posted by: Rose Tol, R&I Life Coaching, April 6, 2013 Marriage Issues in Relationships
Do you have marriage issues? Are you thinking of getting a divorce? These are not easy things to deal with and need serious consideration and focus. This relationship quiz brings light to some of the main assumptions that people have re. relationship problems.
There are so many assumptions and misconceptions re. what a healthy marriage is, and what relationship problems really are and what to do about them.
This relationship quiz is a fun thing to do with your partner if you experience relationship problems.
This relationship quiz can break the ice and you both can start to share with each other
your perspective on marriage issues and relationship problems it will get the ball rolling in
regards to talking with each other.
The Relationship Quiz, by Rose Tol
Answer each of the questions of the relationship quiz as "True" of "False".
- If you have been in love with someone and then for a while you feel you "fell out of love", you did not mean to - it just happened that way - it means it is time to move on. The relationship won't last and it is only fair to speak up and be honest about it.
- When a woman says "NO" in most cases it means "NO".
- If there is a lot of fighting going on in your relationship that means that your relationship is failing.
- An affair does not have to ruin a relationship?
- Most people are much happier and have less marriage issues going
on in their second marriage or relationship because they have learned
from their mistakes.
- Divorce does not resolve conflict, in most cases it promotes conflict and worsen marriage issues.
The Answers of the Relationship Quiz
- When "you fall out of love" is it time to move on? FALSE
Some people say that they just 'fell
out of love'. I loved my partner very much when we got married but
somewhere along the line I am not in love anymore. Well, you don't just fall out of love. The number one cause for the breakdown in marriages in our country is that people don't spend enough time together. Everything
in life seems to get priority over spending quality time with each
other. If you do not spend time enough time together and your marriage
is on the bottom of the list, you grow apart. You are not a team anymore
and sometimes you feel like strangers to each other. The distance and
isolation sometimes gets people fooled to think that they have fallen
out of love. They feel numb. But the feeling of love is still there! it
is just covered over by this numbness.
- When a woman says "NO" in most cases it means "NO". FALSE
This is an important dynamic that especially men need to understand. When a man says "no" is basically means "no". It is rock solid and when says "no" they mean it, it is like a fact. In the world of a woman a "no" is very flexible. It is changeable and sometimes it even means yes. A "no" from a woman can mean, please pay attention to me, give me a hug, listen to me...and of course my "no" never meant to be a "no". A woman is mostly more in touch with her emotions and as she moves on the emotional roller coaster a "no" can turn quickly in a yes and the "no' was often a disguise for a need. If you are a man and you receive a "no" from a woman, just take a moment and check; what is she really asking for here? You will be surprised.
- If there is a lot of fighting going on in your relationship that means that your relationship is failing. FALSE If you are dealing with a lot of conflict, understand that this never means that your relationship is failing. The opposite is true. One of the main predictor of a divorce is a couple that always avoids conflict. When there is conflict, there is passion. It is alive isn't it. Sometimes this can be a trap because people are instigating a fight to feel that passion. That is why people make love sometimes after a fight to make up. There is a lot of passion there. But this is not the healthiest way of relating. Conflict means you are desiring to feel more connection and love with your partner but you are missing the skills on how to communicate what your needs are and how they are not met in a healthy way.
- An affair does not have to ruin a relationship? TRUE
This is True and even more so it can bring you closer together as couple more then ever. I know from experience, having your spouse having an affair can be one of the most devastating and painful moments in life. Especially when it comes with lies, you feel so violated. You loose all trust in your spouse and self doubt and self judgments can go crazy inside of yourself. Affairs happen, and I might add, quite regularly. So if your relationship is dealing with this marriage issue make sure you get some help and support to make sure you heal yourselves, free yourself from guilt and not shut down your hearts to each other. If you allow yourselves to go through this process you will find that there will be more intimacy and trust then there was ever before.
- Most people are much happier and have less relationship problems going on in their second marriage or relationship because they have learned from their mistakes. FALSE Did you know that 60% of second marriages end up in divorce? Yes sometimes we learn from our mistakes and are able to create a better relationship second time around, but this is far from what is happening in the world. Why is that? Firstly most people are looking for happiness outside of themselves, even in the marriage. This is a big mistake. No one or anything on the outside can make you happy. Happiness is found inside and it takes doing the ongoing work of finding more consciousness to be connected to that place of happiness and peace inside. Another reason why the next relationship or marriage is often not better is because we take our bad relationships habits into our next relationship and we choose often the same "wrong" partner to play these marriage issues out.
- Divorce does not resolve conflict, in most cases it promotes conflict and worsen marriage issues. TRUE It is important for a person due to marriage issues to consider getting a divorce to be very clear about what the motivation is for divorcing. If you think that somehow that will resolve the conflicts and relationship problems that are there then think again. Divorce is not a way of conflict resolution. You need to work with your partner on the issues till you have moved through them together.
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